What's Your Sign?

SIGN LANGUAGE — For weeks now it seems that my horoscope has been setting me up for disappointment. It has promised success at work and in my personal life, and extolled the virtues of patience and humility while these blessings come to fruition. If these stargazing fools knew anything about Capricorns they would realize that patience in the promise of reward is not an attribute that characterizes our stubborn, type-A personalities. As a disciple of Gay Astrology I have never felt more closely defined by my sign. So if these scribes of my chosen religion believe that my immediate future is to be blessed, why am I so hesitant to believe?

Something I have noticed is that gay men seem to be more adherent to the principles and practices of astrology than others, but why? Around the world your country, family, or autocratic government may seem to predetermine you for a particular religion; but the zodiac is all encompassing and arbitrary. It requires no baptism to be an Aquarius, no special ceremony on your 13th birthday to declare yourself a Sagittarius, it’s as simple as a range of dates your birth falls in and the way the stars aligned at that special time to determine what course your fate would travel and your personality would develop.

So do the gays love the inclusiveness, the idea that your star sign, like your sexuality, was gifted at birth, another trait out of our control? Or the fact that its system of belief not only fails to demonize our sexual behavior, but also doesn’t bother to overtly state we are to be accepted?

My roommate can tell a loathsome Cancer before they ever share their sign with him, his resentment for these summer birthday celebrators runs so deep. I sometimes shudder when I discover a boy I’m interested in shares the sign of certain exes. I may even think better of allowing the relationship to continue. Is it all in our heads or do the stars really dictate our fate?

I hadn’t compiled a list of my best lovers and cross-referenced with their particular sign, but I wouldn’t have been surprised if some similarities emerged. But now I know it was a nasty Scorpio that took my virginity, a proud Leo who first captured my imagination, the forward Taurus who first took my breath away in bed, and the slippery Pisces who first stole and later broke my heart. Each as different as his sign, I can’t help but wonder what each says about my sexual appetite.

I don’t think Gay Astrology or any of the zillion columns and books on astrology can answer this for me. If astrology can teach us anything about ourselves, or our love lives it’s that the stars are constantly changing. One night Mars may rise in Venus’s house and the next he’s going down on Uranus. Our many loves and lovers may be born under the house of Saturn or the banner of fall, but it is up to us to listen to own inner astrologer and chart our course for what makes us feel ecstatic and satisfied.

“What’s your sign?” is a pick-up line that is seeing a resurgence, at least in my life recently. We may not always be happy with the response, but keep an open mind, just like that the stars may change, the planets realign and you can find yourself in heavenly bliss. It may fade when the stars disappear with the sun, but as long as the universe continues to shift and adjust, our possibilities for love and lust remain as endless as the skies above. And that’s something you could never say about a fortune cookie.

Originally appeared on July 29, 2008 at http://www.homo-neurotic.com/2008/07/29/everybody-does-it-whats-your-sign/