Lira for Love

Before I ever set foot in Italy, I had heard of the Trevi Fountain. Like the Statue of Liberty, or Eiffel Tower, it is one of the iconic landmarks and most popular tourist destinations in the world. But unlike Lady Liberty or la Tour, I had absolutely no interest in visiting it. What eventually enticed me to go see it during my four months in Rome, in addition to my parents’ insistence, was hearing about the legend of its coins. Being a sucker for astrology and superstitions in general, I was thrilled to learn that it was commonly believed that throwing coins into its depths could not only ensure that one would come back to Rome, but also find love.

From the outset it seems obvious that the promises could take years to be fulfilled, and my only case example I had was my parents. They waited more than 2 decades before they returned, and though they had already found love, their marriage endured and flourished throughout that time. So with nothing but a couple cents to lose, I tossed the pennies over the appropriate shoulder and hoped for the best. A few weeks later, one of my best girlfriend’s in Rome, best gay friend, an American studying for a year in Germany, came to visit. She had told me about him before and he and I had even chatted online before his arrival, but whether we would connect in person was yet to be seen.

The very first night we shared a bed together I had one of the most intense orgasms I have ever had in my life. Perhaps it was a result of the complete lack of sexual attention I was receiving in Rome, or just the culmination of the anticipation of our meeting; but I have come off dry spells and met guys I’d talked to for ages since him, and it has never felt like that. I took him on a tour of the city, showing him the gardens, the ruins, but I saved the Trevi for last. A few days together was all we received but I was eager to see just how powerful that brilliant fountain and a few copper coins could be.

The rest of my time in Rome was a whirlwind. The weather got warm so weekends were spent relentlessly shopping, going to the beach, and exploring any sites we had missed in the city. Evenings were spent drinking and dancing the night away. By the time it was over it felt like the shortest semester of my life and I was reluctant to say goodbye. The boy was to remain in Germany where he would be studying through the summer and following semester, but had promised a trip to New York where we could once again rendezvous.

At the time I was still living in DC and had never been to New York without a parent or chaperone, so I was excited to get to know more of the city on my own and more about my American fling in Rome. The evenings we spent in New York, were certainly fun, and as satisfying as I recalled, but something was definitely missing. Back in America, in the humid awfulness of New York in July, it seemed less like amore and more like a mess. He flew back to Germany having dismissed me as immature and incompatible, and I returned to DC finding him to be prudish and uncompromising.

In a way the promise of the legend of the Trevi Fountain is no different than our modern methods of seeking love. When I eventually return to visit Rome I may attribute it to the fountain, to preserve some notion of whimsy in an otherwise scientific world, and though love may have thus far eluded me, I would like to think that the promise of my second coin will also be fulfilled. For six months I foolishly threw money into Match.com, believing their mantra of ‘it’s ok to look,’ and never knowing who might be found. The money spent definitely kept me coming back to the site, and perhaps I’ll find myself back on there again someday. The second coin was to find love, but they never said how long that’d take. Perhaps if we believe enough and invest enough in all the dating sites available, the man of our dreams will materialize.

No matter what legend or marketing campaign in which we choose to put our faith, one cannot deny the inherent romance of a Roman affair. It doesn’t have to blossom on the cobblestone alleyways of the La Città Eterna, but a chance encounter between two strangers that erupts into a brief yet memorable affair is the stuff of mythology and Audrey Hepburn movies. I shall never regret my Roman holiday trist, though hope the storied fountain continues to make good on its promises. Though I guess when you’ve only spent two cents, unlike Match.com, you can’t expect a guarantee.

Originally posted on 9/23/2008 on http://www.homo-neurotic.com/2008/09/23/everybody-does-it-lira-for-love/