Feelin' Good In the Hood

Raise your hand if you can name every gay bar in the Hells Kitchen. Ok, that was an easy one. How about Chelsea? Yeah, a little bit harder. What about the West Village? I didn’t think so. Well you probably know a few in the East Village, maybe one or two in midtown, upper east side, or Harlem. Do you know the gay bars in Brooklyn? Yeah, you probably do. What about Queens? The Bronx and Staten Island? Ok those last two were kind of a trick question. I’m not even sure gay bars exist seven days a week in those two boroughs. Nevertheless, the point is that we all know the various gayborhoods in New York City. And those who are blessed with high paying jobs, patient enough to deal with multiple roommates and confined spaces, or lucky enough to find a steal in one of them, enjoy a special proximity to those bars we all frequent.

The rest of us are just visitors. I live in Astoria, and though I know the Albatross has been around for quite some time, I knew from the start that it probably wasn’t my scene. So for the last year and a half I spent the better part of my weekends in bars on the west side, and occasionally in the EV, drinking, meeting, dating, and hooking up with guys whom lived in similar locales. When Lavish opened up a short distance from my apartment, it was like a whole new asset was added to my already decently sized and affordable rent: a convenient and acceptable gay bar.

This is not to say I wasn’t skeptical. I’d been out with some guys from Astoria before and those were the dates that ended early in the evening, with excuses like, “I have to get my roommate a pregnancy test,” or the time I made out with my neighbor from the building next door, only to never hear from him again, though we were doomed to repeatedly run into each other. Needless to say, Astoria’s record of men in my life was not good. I could only imagine what creatures and lowlifes would surface in the dim light of Astoria’s newest gay attraction.

In the past I tried to think of myself as not picky about where a guy lived. Hell, I lived at the last stop in Astoria, who was I to judge a Brooklyn boy, or any resident of the Heights? But the longer you live in the city the more you realize that everything really does come down to location. My last boyfriend’s East Harlem apartment wasn’t so bad since it only required two trains from home, or one from the gym or work, but it certainly put a bit of a strain on our brief relationship. It also didn’t take me long to realize that I may want to avoid anyone who lived on the UWS or West Harlem, as they were sure to cause problems for my commute.

So the thought of meeting and potentially dating and/or hooking up with someone from my own neighborhood, whom I hadn’t met online, and then been subjected to an awkward date with, was pretty enticing to me. The first couple times I went to Lavish I will say that I was not that impressed. My friends and I came, we saw, we danced, we drank, we left, once headed out to a venue downtown, the other just to stumble home drunk. But third time’s a charm and I just happened to score with a cutie who lived within walking distance of the bar, which also was conveniently just two stops from home when I made my triumphant return the next morning.

It’s hard to say if we are more prone to go home with someone when it’s convenient, or more inclined to go out in the first place if we know we’re close to home. I definitely dread the late night or following afternoon commute back home on the weekend, but wouldn’t necessarily always want to stay so close to home to begin with. In either case it’s a special occasion when an outer borough address is not met with immediate derision or resignation that you’ll have to go home with him. So I’m glad that the rise of gay bars in every neighborhood of New York can make us all a little more proud of where we live, and maybe even improve our chances of getting lucky. Although beware, that slow ride over the bridge, or jerky tunnel trek with a one night stand on board, can make paying Manhattan rent seem worth it.

Appeared originally on www.homo-neurotic.com on 3/26/09