Daisy Chain, Chain, Chain

A daisy chain is defined as a group of three or more participants pleasuring each other in the same fashion, generally orally or manually. A common fixture in gay porn, this practice may also not be unfamiliar to the layman, or any man who’s gotten laid in a group setting. Many have wondered what the term is for the person in the middle of this situation, or generally in the middle while performing oral sex and receiving anally or orally (i.e. an ‘Eiffel Tower, etc.) is called, and it seems the most common responses are ‘Lucky Pierre’ or it is defined as being “spit-roasted.”

I answered that question at the request of my readers who wanted me to, excuse the pun, touch upon more sexual topics, rather than focusing on relationships. Though as a recent participant in some group activities, I have to say that I guess I find it less interesting to report on these than I do to describe the emotional turmoil of the quest for love and companionship. Naturally, our appetite for sex talk is more healthy than delving into the more serious side of our love lives, but that doesn’t make the latter any less interesting, and certainly doesn’t make it less messy.

After returning from the bathroom after one such debaucherous evening I remarked that it smelled like gay sex, and wrinkled my nose at the lurid combination of ass, lube, and latex that we have the pleasure of being subjected to by the nature of our intercourse. It’s moments like these, like the subsequent deflation of arousal following the intense pleasure that accompanies the climax of this activity, that reminds me just how base, mundane, and even gross sex can be. Outside of the porn industry, the time it consumes in our lives is minimal, yet we assign it as much value in evaluating a mate as we may their personality.

This is not to say that sex is unimportant, unnecessary, or not to be taken into consideration in relationships. On the contrary, it is paramount for intimacy and developing a stronger bond with another individual. But what makes ‘Pierre’ so ‘Lucky?’ Literally straddling two partners, attempting to make them both and himself happy, certainly doesn’t allow for much connection or deepening of feelings. It seems that ‘spit-roasting’ would be a more apt description, since this individual functions only as a piece of meat, a dead one at that, used mechanically for the enjoyment of the voyeurs or other participants.

In life, in the wake of a break-up, before another relationship comes our way, or any time we feel torn between periods of contentment, it is easy to feel like the ‘spit-roastee.’ You’re fucked while fucking, unable to express yourself, and even unable to truly control your body’s movement. In the end, the only satisfaction it seems to garner is that all parties end satisfied. Reenacting these pornographic scenes allow us to remove the humanity from these acts, and focus soley on our mastubatory pursuits, leaving us sated perhaps, though not further nourished in an emotional way.

Perhaps I am thinking too seriously about a good ol’ gay pastime for the past who knows how many years. But I’d like to think that when I say ‘everybody does it,’ I mean more than just sex, because with the rare exceptions, of course everyone has sex. What truly connects us though on a human level are the attachments we form with one another emotionally. Some friends or lovers ask that we tend to their needs more often than our own, some want us to top, others bottom, whether in the bedroom or life. So perhaps it is ‘Lucky’ for ‘Pierre’ to subvert himself to the will of two others. When it’s all over he can be proud that their pleasure depended on him, but he still had his hands free to take care of himself. When you’re single and stuck in the middle, that’s the best you can hope for: to be desired, but not dependent.

Appeared originally on 3/19/09 on homo-neurotic.com